Unfaithful
by DocMcRegals
Summary: Addek. One-Shot. Pre-Show.The Story of Addison and Derek's Affair. Lyrics by Rihanna


**"Unfaithful"**

**Okay so I had the idea to write another addek/ Maddison one-shot, which means taking away time from my other unfinished fanfics, but it just came to me. The song is by Rihanna, of whom I'm a fan of. Its told totally from Addison's POV and I think the lyrics of the song fit perfectly with this fanfic...**

**Happy Reading,**

**Xoxo, Dee**

_..._

_Story of my life searching for the right but it keeps avoiding mesorrow in my soul because it seems that wrong really loves my companyhe's more than a man and this is more than love the reason that the sky is blue the clouds are rollin in because I'm gone again and to him I just can't be true _

I think he knows; I think he's always known. Its not that I don't love Derek I do but...he's just...he's not here. He doesn't care anymore; he stopped caring a long time ago. He, well we, both became too engrossed in work to think about each other. I love my husband I do more than anything but Mark, he's here, he's the right now, the constant that keeps me from packing up all of my things and leaving him. He's something tangible I can hold on to when this mess that is my life comes crashing down around me. Mark gets me...Derek, Derek used to get me before he stopped paying attention...

_and I know that he knows I'm unfaithful and it kills him inside to know that I am happy with some other guy I can see him dyin I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside I don't wanna hurt him anymore I don't wanna take away his life, I don't wanna be a murderer_

Being here with Mark feels...it makes me feel...alive again. Its like, with Mark I can breathe again. lying here in his arms I feel...safe, like he wouldn't hurt me; he's Mark so...the cheating will come. He's just can't seem to not cheat. But right now in this moment, he's here...

_..._

_I feel it in the air as I'm doin my hair preparing for another date, a kiss upon my cheek as he relucatnly asks if I'm gonna be out late I say I won't be long just hangin with the girls a lie I didn't have to tell because we both know where I'm about to go and I know it very well_

I know he knows. Tonight's the night of one of my parents' ridiculous dinner parties that they've insisted I attend. I'm a grown woman dammit! So how in the hell is that I'm still being rangled into attending these types of events? I should be more like Archer and just not give a damn, but still there's that instinct to please my parents. I'm sitting in front of the mirror getting ready and Derek walks in, well more like stands in the doorway.

"Hey, you look nice" he tells me as he walks closer; I almost hate it when he touches me now, but its moments like these when my husband shows up and I endulge in his presence and I kiss him, tender, lovingly, like any other wife would kiss her husband, except without any passion.

"You smell good...are you using a new shampoo?" he asks as he's kissing my neck; he wants sex I can tell, but he's not getting any tonight...No. sex, sex, hot, dirty, runchy, kinky sex-that's reserved for Mark. When Derek and I make love its...well I feel nothing; I get better pleasure from my own self...not that I do that sort of thing; its not that I'm not a prude I'm just...from Connecticut.

"No, its still the same" I reply; it's been the same shampoo I've used since college, I want to tell him. How in the hell is it that he doesn't remember that I use coconut shampoo; he used to love to run his fingers through my hair after I got outof the shower. He simply nods, gives an 'oh' in response.

"I really hate that I can't attend with you Addie" he tells me, which I know is a lie. He can't stand my parents almost as much as his mother can't stand me.

"No No it's fine...Mark is coming with me" I reply cooly as I continue fixing my hair and applying my make up.

"Mark? How'd you manage that? He hates your parents almost as much as..."

"You do?"

"Addison, that's not what I was going to say"

"You didn't have to Derek, I know you hate them"

"I really am sorry Addison...so how did you mamage to get Mark to say yes to you?" he asks again.

I promised him sex, that's how I got Mark to agree to with me; plus, he said a woman like me should never be left alone to my own vices-its dangerous...I wish Derek knew that, maybe I wouldn't be sleeping with his best friend...

_and I know that he knows I'm unfaithful and it kills him inside to know that I am happy with some other guy I can see him dyin I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside I don't wanna hurt him anymore I don't wanna take away his life, I don't wanna be a murderer_

I know what I'm doing, sleeping with my husband's best friend is wrong, especially after his little sister Amelia caught us; thankfully she didn't say anything. I know adultry is a sin, but Mark is a sin I can't let go of...I think I'm addicted.

_..._

_Our love his trust I might as well take a gun and put it to his head get it over with I don't wanna do this anymore...no anymore..._

Its all becoming too much for me. I just want to leave Derek. I can't stand doing this to him anymore...he's my husband dammit! but he doesn't pay any attention to me; he doesn't look at me like he used to...I called Mark and told him to come over, because I wanted to end things with him properly, but somehow, we ended up in bed together. I was so caught up in how good Mark was making me feel that I didn't hear the door open downstairs. I couldn't hear the footsteps coming up the stairs. I didn't even know he'd come home until I heard Mark say.

"Shit Derek! I'm so sorry man!"

And that was when I looked up and saw my husband; he'd caught me making love to his best friend and in that moment I knew that my marriage was over...

_and I know that he knows I'm unfaithful and it kills him inside to know that I am happy with some other guy I can see him dyin I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside I don't wanna hurt him anymore I don't wanna take away his life, I don't wanna be a murderer...a murderer no no...hey..._

"Derek, Derek you have to listen to me! Derek you can't do this! Derek we have to- we need to talk about this. you have to give me a chance to explain...what are you doing with my clothes? Derek it was one time! I know that's what people say, I know tthat's what always gets said it's just...I don't even know how it happened, I don't know what I was thinking...he was just here"

"You screw my best friend and all you can say is 'he was just here'? get out"

"No"

"Get out"

"No No I'm not going, we need to talk about this! We need to talk about this Derek please!"

"Get out of my house now"

"No I'm holding my ground...I'm holding my ground...WE DON'T QUIT! We have to work...what are you doing? No...Derek! Derek Please! I'm sorry, I'm sorry okay, you have to give me a chance, you have to give me a chance to show you how sorry I am...I'm sorry Okay?"

"I'm gonna go you stay I'll get my things in the morning"

"No, no, no, no, no, we can survive this...Derek we can survive this...we're, we're Addison-and-Derek"

"I can't look at you...I look at you and I feel nauseous...I just...We're not Addison-and-Derek anymore"

"If you go now...if you go now we are not gonna get through this...if you go now, we don't have a chance...we don't have a chance...if you go now...if you go..."


End file.
